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Pervy Pirate Fancier

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[16 Feb 2010|10:19am]
[ mood | irritated ]

Well have just paid out nearly £300 for the divorce. I am trying to get him to pay at least half of it, but by now I should know what he is like and I probably won't see any of the money from him. At least when the divorce is done I can draw a line under it and close that chapter f my life.

I spoke to him yesterday and things are getting difficult. He was saying the he is still dealing with us being over and that he won't meet anyone else like me as I am special. Iam not sure how I am supposed to deak with that. We split in the summer properly, but things had not been working for a while. I have tolg him I have moved on and have met someone else and I'm not sure how well he took it. I won't feel guilty for being happy.

I'm looking forward ro tomorrow as I get to spend the day with my gorfeous new man. No dialysis tomorrow as I am going today instead, I had an appointment to see the surgeon at St Heliers that has been cancelled. I am quite happy that it has been cancelled as he wants to see me about having a necklace graft done for access for dialysis. I have a line in the base of my neck at the moment and have had it for just over a year and there are no problems with it. I really don't fancy having my jugular vein mucked about with.

Valentine's Day was actually quite nice. Ed and I went out for a meal. We had a really nice Indian meal, and I would definitely go back there. He is really sweet and I actually feel like me again. I think this time things are going to be different. I think the main thing is that we actually like each other as people. Although we haven't been together as a couple for very long, we have already got to the point where we can just be silent...that whole comfortable sience thing is weird, but when it happens I think you know that the person you are with is kinda special.

2 wounds| stab me

[12 Feb 2010|10:27am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

I've just watched the trailer for 'Get Him to the Greek.' I know a lot of people don't like Russell Brand, but I do. 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' was a surprisingly good film that made me laugh a lot, so this kinda spin off should hopefully be good. I don't know whether it's a film I would part with money to see at the cinema.

I'm so glad it's Friday. One more session of dialysis this week , and then freedom for the weekend. I know Sunday is Valentine's Day and I'm still not convinced about the whole thing. It's just an excuse for greeting cards companies to cash in on the fact that people care about each other. Having said that, I am going out on Sunday. I think this is the first Valentine's Day that I have actually done anything. Hopefully it will be a nice evening, but the whole thing has got me thinking....

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2 wounds| stab me

[11 Feb 2010|11:22am]
Marriage is a strange thing...I still haven't decided if I married the wrong man or if the whole thing just isn't for me. It's not like I didn't try and make things work, looking back I spent the last two years trying my hardest and not getting anywhere. I didn't really realise how much shit I put up with until we split up. I have more than enough problems of my own to deal with without worrying about anything else. It's easy to look back now and see how wrong things were for so long now that I have moved on and am actually the happiest I have been in a very long time.

A lot of the happiness comes from being with a guy that actually appreciates me for me and doesn't want to change me into someone else. We've only been together for a shirt time, so it might just be the honeymoon period. We shall have to wait and see. I hope it does stay feeling like this...and I have a feeling that it will. It's about time I had some good luck.
7 wounds| stab me

[09 Feb 2010|11:38pm]
I'm back again...Lot has happened since I last posted on here....
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[05 Mar 2007|07:38pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I hate this time of year when it's all cold and raining and stuff. I've ahad a cold for ages and said cold turned into uber chest infection...Meaning a week off work and a few days in hospital....Again!

Apart from that life is actually pretty good at the moment. Things had settled with the mother in law and all seems fine on that front now and we have laughed about all the shit that has gone on. I still want to get out own place...It's be nice to actually try and buy somewhere but I dunno if it'll happen so we'll prolly end up renting.

I just want to actually own somewhere...I have all these ideas for how I want it to look...And i saw the perfect sofa the other day...A gorgeous big red leather affir...*sigh* Maybe one day...Hopefully before I'm 30...Guess I need to start buying thos lottery tickets!

For the last few months I've been growing my eyebrows back after shaving them for a while...And now I have the dilema of whether to shave them again...I hate the hassle of plucking as waxing really isn't an option for me as a diabetic. I think its laziness...spend ages plucking or just a couple of swipes with a razor.

I'm starting to feel like I'm not making an effort with myself anymore. I look back at pictures and just don't feel like I look that way anymore...Maybe I just need the money for an image overhaul. A year ago it was unknown for me to go oit without any makeup on...Now its all the time...Must be getting to content or something!

5 wounds| stab me

[19 Feb 2007|08:03pm]
Gah! Things were going so well for a while. I actually fely happy and stuff...Things didn't seem so bad. I've been really trying to get on with Ian's Mum, but it just doesn't seem to be happening. I've tried talking to her and that hasn't helped as she doesn't seem interested. I don't know what else to do really. There's only so long I can smile and put up with living in the same house as someone who deosn't like me and doesn't want me there in the slightest. I can't afford to move out and rent somewhere here in Bristol on my own, which leaves the option of moving back across to my Mums. It annoys me because I have actually found a job I like, and me and Ian are getting on really well now and are all sorted and happy with each other....But maybe that's the problem....I think his mother is jealous.....Grrrrrrr just thinking about her and this whole situation makes my blood boil.....

And to top things of I had my appointment at the diabetic clinic on Friday and am now having to take yet more drugs as they think there is a problem with my kidneys...fucking fabulous...Oh and they think I'm anaemic aswell...Guess I gotta just wait for the blood test results to come back.

At least I had a good night on Friday as it was Ian's birthday. I think Ian prolly had the worst hangover ever - But then it's his own fault really...I think it must have been nearly 8am Saturday morning by time we finally crashed. I got a bit annoyed that people kepy hassling me about not drinking very much...But I just can't do it anymore...It just makes me sick or makes me really sleepy. I'd rather have 2 or 3 drinks and enjoy myself, rather than be ill or asleep.

What does a person have to do to have an easy life?!
1 wound| stab me

[19 Jan 2007|06:50pm]
So this may not seem or sound like much but I am actually happy...
Something feels like it has clicked and a lot of my issues don't seem to feel as big, or even there anymore. I don't know why or how it's happened but I'm kinda enjoying feeling this way for a change.....It's been a long time coming.
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[18 Dec 2006|08:32pm]
Just come out of hospital....Went in on Thursday as I couldn't vreathe properly and was having major problems with my blood sugar levels. I have a rather nasty infection in one of the ulcers on my ankle which was causing all kinds of problems...so I'm on uber high dose antibiotics for the next two weeksm which really sucks.

As usual my veins in my arms are completely rubbish so they had a nightmare trying to get a line into my veins...This they decided after trying in about a million different places with me getting very vocal about how much it was hurting, and asking them not so politely to get the needle out. Normally the next port of call would be your feet - But due to a rather nasty ulcer on each foot it made them pretty much a no go area..So lucky me ended up with the cannula being put in the vein on the right hand side of my neck! I was not a happy bnny when the suggested it...but it wasn't actually that bad...and probably one of the more comfortable places I have had it!

Anyway I am feeling much better, glad to be out....And feel a million times better now for spending an age standing under a boiling hot shower! Now I think I'm going to go snuggle up under my duvet...I have to go out tomorrow to finish the bollocking christmas shopping...
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[05 Dec 2006|07:06pm]
Well I have a new job! I started yesterday. It's only temp at the moment, but I am kinda hoping it goes permanent. The money is pretty good for temp work down here (£8 an hour). I almost feel like a weight has been lifted now I am not working at tha call centre anymore.

Although the run up the christmas isn't the best timw of year to find work...It is also a bit of a blessing in disguise as there aren't many people looking for work. I had three offers of ongoing temp work last Thursday all within about an hour. I picked the one that paid most - Obviously - But it is also doing something I have kinda done in the past and it's kinda enjoyable as mcuh as working for a living can be.

I did feel bad phoning up the call centre on Friday and basically saying to them I'm not coming back. But then they should pay a realistic wage. We discovered on their website it says thay pay a competitive salary....Well I'd like to know what it is competitive against as they pay minimum wage!!

I am unfortunately having a bad week thhis week..And seem to be really down. I just want an end to some things that I can't do anything about. I want somewhere of our own to live. I just don't know how much longer I can live with Ian's Mum. It's really difficult to get 5 minutes peace as she seems to be one of these people that needs constant company. I just get the impression that as I don't want to sit with her all the time (Especially when Ian isn't here) she really takes offence. I know it this will sound horrible as she is being kind enough to put us up (But we are giving her housekeeping) but she can be one of these people that really grates on me and can make me feel all edgy and irritated by not actually doing anything.

I just need to start looking to the future I think. I need to realise that things won't be this shit forever. We will have our little house and our dog and be happy. It's just sometimes it feels like it os an awfully long way off
2 wounds| stab me

[28 Nov 2006|10:49pm]
I was a naughty Jo and pulled a sickie from work today...I hate that place so much it's unbelievable. It's so soul destroyingly depressing. So I trundled off and registered with a couple of agencies. One of thenm had a really promising job, although it was temp to perm the money for down here was pretty good at £18k a year...Especially as the job is customer services. The other agency was just registering for temp work really...She said they get stuff in all the time. I hope they get a booking in so I can just pone up the place I am working now and tell them to stick it. It just makes me so sad to think that when I was 15 I was earning a fiver an hour doing silver service waitressing and now I'm 27 I'm earning £5.35 an hour!!!
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[23 Nov 2006|11:02pm]
I really should try and update this thing more often...

I started working at the same place as Ian...And all I can say is I'm looking for another job. I can cope with call centre work - Christ knows I have done enough of it in my time. But the money is shit...And I mean *really* shit, as in minimum wage £5.35 an hour shit. The training was laughable aswell. Who the fuck needs two weeks of training to learn how to answer the phone?! About the only amusing thing is that one of the calls we answer the phone for is a website called Love Honey...So I get o talk to lots of embarressed people buyinh sex toys...Although one woman tonight ordered 200 condoms and a shed load of lube aswell....Guess she's in for a fun few days! Hahaha

I love being back here in Bristol...I just wish the wages were better. We're never going to be able to manage to save up enough to get a deposit and get a mortgage to buy somewhere...Or is it just me being snobby that I don't want to live in Hartcliffe or Knowle West?!

At least we have the night of tomorrow as Ian is Djing up in Gloucester at Dark Asylum. So that might be a giggle...
2 wounds| stab me

[24 Oct 2006|01:33pm]
I seem to be falling apart at the moment. Finally got an appointment to see the Doc at the end of last week and am on antibiotics for the second time in a month. It seems that what appeared originally as harmless looking marks just on the front of each of my ankles have actually now turned into very unattractive looking ulcer type infections...Ahhhh the joys of being diabetic and it's complications. I am still suffering with horrendous fluid retention, but as my blood pressure is so low the stupid doctor won't give me any tablets. I feel like a beached whale at the moment.

At least I have a day off work today due to lack of sleep from being woken up at about 3am with the hypo from hell, as well as the fact that my feet and legs are so swollen it's uncomfotable to the point of being painful so I can't really drive and need to sit looking like an idiot with feet raised up.

Only a few more days until I move back to Bristol., which will be nice. Just need to try and keep Ian's Mum's dog away from me as I think I'm a bit allergic to him...Which is odd because I'm fine with my Dad's doggies. Maybe it's because his Mum's dog is a Westie and therefore a podgy ball of white fluff that molts everywhere....But Ian's Mum did say we could maybe get a kitty if we think the dog will be okay with it :D
2 wounds| stab me

[17 Oct 2006|10:19am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

On a countdown now to the move back to Bristol. At least I'm lucky in the fact that I have a job to go to...And the guy hasn't even interviewed me. It's at the same place that Ian is working and hopefully I will be a team leader straight away, with that or fast-tracked to become one. It'll be nice to move into supervisory stuff now - It's not as if I have no call centre/phone/custy services experience...My CV is full of it.

Apart from that I seem to be stuck in a low at the moment that nothing seems able to shift. I'm not entirely sure what to do about it to be honest. I thought I was getting over it all and getting better, but it keeps coming back and feels worse each time. I tried couselling, which to be honest didn't do much of anything for me, and don't fancy going back on the medication as the two different anti depressants I have been given so far really dodn't do a lot to help. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just not feel anything for a while...Rather than the buzzing in my head and the not being able to switch off; rather than the feeling of my insides being ripped apart.

All the health problems and a completely rubbish doctor that it is practically impossible to get an appointment with definitely isn't helping. I have something I need to see a different doctor about to get another opnion and I phone the surgery only to find out he's now on holiday for two weeks, with no one covering...So can only see crappy doctor (Who I am sure hasn;t got a fucking clue what he is talking about) and I can only get appointment with him if its an absolute emergency as he's uber over-booked....Gotta love the NHS...

2 wounds| stab me

[09 Oct 2006|08:34am]
It was nice to spend the weekend down in Bristol and to see Ian. Even now when I drive into Bristol, coming off the M32 into St Pauls, I get the feeling that I am home. It's really weird and hard to try and explain it, but I guess the city just feels 'right' for me.

It was ncie to see the boys again. I have always felt a little but like they're Ian's mates and I'm just there because I'm his wife. But after 6 months of being away and then us all going out to the pub together, I did kinda realise that these people are my friends as well as being Ian's friends, and I did feel kinda welcomed back into the fold, as it were.

The Hatchet was absolutely heaving with people of Saturday, but by the looks of it a lot was to do with the fact that Rocky is on at the Hippodrome (Am sooo pissed I'm not going to see it). Went to the bierkeller aswell...was okay, but I think I've grown out of the whole metal thing, well some of it at least. I want tunes I can dance to now and seem to be embracing the Industrial and ebm stuff more and more. Although we did dance to Poison by Alice Cooper which was a giggle...Not a tune you expect to hear :)

Hopefully I'll be moving back down by the end of the month, if not a bit before. I'm really looking forward to it.
2 wounds| stab me

[04 Oct 2006|01:40pm]
It's sods law...I get put on antibiotics this week, just as I was planning a night out of drinking and dancing and general mischeif making in Bristol. Have been having problems with my poor feet and now turns out I have an nfected ingrowing toenail and weird pressure point marks on my ankles from all the fluid that seems to want to gather there on a regular basis (I miss my nice slim ankles! No high heels for me...Not that I could walk in them anyway!). So a week of uber strong tablets to get rid of it. Just means I can't really have a drink - antibiotics + booze + Jo = Very wobblely Jo.

I think I may have recaptured my muse and started writing again...Purely on the request of hubby, who is holed up 100+ miles away from me. If this goes to plan I may turn my hand to some fanfic of the POTC variety. I have a few ideas bouncing around kinda triggered by the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. I still keep meaning to actually read the Harry Potter books, I've seen the movies so many times and *adore* Rickman as Snape. The other character that is swirling around myhead at the moment is Rochester from the BBCs current version of Jane Eyre (Played by Toby Stephens, I think)...I'd glady let him sweep me of my feet and hide me away in some huge house in the middle of some windswept moor somewhere....How reality can be so different....I seem to be turning into a bit of a fangirl :D


At least I have a half day on Friday, so some shopping for some new clothes...I am desperately seeking the perfect black pencil skirt...And might treat myself to a gorgeous black pinstripe fedora I have had my eye on for a couple of weeks. It'll be nice to go back down to Bristol to see the boys, and to go out properly. Haven't been out dancing for so long now.
4 wounds| stab me

[27 Sep 2006|10:12am]
Nothing interesting to update - Life still being a bit poo :(

...But did anyone else notice that the new BBC Robin Hood programme is using 'Alice' by Sisters to advertise it?!
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[20 Sep 2006|02:15pm]
Been ill again the past couple of days, which just about topped off my weekend.

I took Ian back down to Bristol at the weekend and the 100 mile, normally painless journey took us 6 hours! This is thanks to some accident or something closing the M4 for a whole junction meaning a god-awful diversion through the countryside in the middle of nowhere to rejoin the motorway at Swindon...Sitting in traffic for that long and spending at least 4 hours of that nopt being able to get out of first gear makes a very annoyed Jo...And to top it all of it took nearly 4 hours for me to drive back on Sunday due to roadworks and a shit load of traffic trying to leave Bristol after the marathon.

I'm looking around at jobs down on Bristol and to be honest there isn't a huge amount that appeals to me. Although I have found one admin type job for Bristol council that pays well for down that way and sounds quite interesting. Just trying to fill in the application form now, complete with the dreaded page that basically says, @Why should we give you the job?'... I hate those sorts of questions, I always really struggle to know what to write
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[12 Sep 2006|05:03pm]
After more long discussions with Ian (Got to love being able to use a dodgy broswer based version of MSN at work) we decided he will be moving back to Bristol, with me more than likely following. He called the place he was orking at before the move, and they have called him back this afternoon and offered him his job back starting on Monday! I wasn't expecting him to move back down so quickly.

Mum seems to think I need time on my own to think, and Ian going back to Bristol will help that. But I am still not quite sure what it is she wants me to think about. At the end of the day, I do need to do what will male me happy - But unfortunately at the moment I am not quite sure what that is. Hopefully I can find a job in Bristol that does not involve me working in a call centre like a battery hen..Although I know that that 118 247 (The evil Yellow Pages directory enquiries service) is always looking for staff...Not that I would ideally want to go back there, but if there's nothing else when I do move back down.

I guess I just need to decided when to move back to Bristol...I must admit that I do miss living there, it's a nice city. It would just be nice to have both of us earning a wage again so we can do stuff...Go out once in a while for a meal or away for the weekend, go blow money on shoes and clothes without having to worry too much about it, for me to get more inkage.

So I guess, it's Bristol here I come...Again...
5 wounds| stab me

[12 Sep 2006|10:41am]
Well the weekend away at Pontins in Camber Sands wansn't anywhere near as bad as I imagined it woulc be. The chalet we had was ubder basic (Not even a toaster!!) but at least it was clean.

Friday evening was spent watching a guy who's juggling was was worse than his jokes, and then a guy doing stand-up which was particularly unfunny.

Saturday we went actually spent most of the day doing absolutely nothing, which was nice. And in the evnng we enjoyed more of the rubbish cheesey entertainment and much vodka and beer was consumed. We ended up chatting to some peeps that were there from Dover, who turned out to be a tattoist and a piercer. Her work was really good, so when I have some moeny a trip down to see her for some ink may well be in order.

It was nice to just get away from everything for a bit. Yesterday evening my mother just turned and everything I did was wrong. It's getting to the point with her where I'm thinking I can't cope with living back at home with her. Both Ian and me are unhappy, in reality all of our friends are down in Bristol. We are considering moving back down that way. I just want a happy, stress-free life to be honest.
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[07 Sep 2006|09:25am]
My Interests Collage!Collapse )
Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424
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