Pervy Pirate Fancier

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 19:50:59 GMT

I hate this time of year when it's all cold and raining and stuff. I've ahad a cold for ages and said cold turned into uber chest infection...Meaning a week off work and a few days in hospital....Again!

Apart from that life is actually pretty good at the moment. Things had settled with the mother in law and all seems fine on that front now and we have laughed about all the shit that has gone on. I still want to get out own place...It's be nice to actually try and buy somewhere but I dunno if it'll happen so we'll prolly end up renting.

I just want to actually own somewhere...I have all these ideas for how I want it to look...And i saw the perfect sofa the other day...A gorgeous big red leather affir...*sigh* Maybe one day...Hopefully before I'm 30...Guess I need to start buying thos lottery tickets!

For the last few months I've been growing my eyebrows back after shaving them for a while...And now I have the dilema of whether to shave them again...I hate the hassle of plucking as waxing really isn't an option for me as a diabetic. I think its laziness...spend ages plucking or just a couple of swipes with a razor.

I'm starting to feel like I'm not making an effort with myself anymore. I look back at pictures and just don't feel like I look that way anymore...Maybe I just need the money for an image overhaul. A year ago it was unknown for me to go oit without any makeup on...Now its all the time...Must be getting to content or something!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:15:01 GMT

Gah! Things were going so well for a while. I actually fely happy and stuff...Things didn't seem so bad. I've been really trying to get on with Ian's Mum, but it just doesn't seem to be happening. I've tried talking to her and that hasn't helped as she doesn't seem interested. I don't know what else to do really. There's only so long I can smile and put up with living in the same house as someone who deosn't like me and doesn't want me there in the slightest. I can't afford to move out and rent somewhere here in Bristol on my own, which leaves the option of moving back across to my Mums. It annoys me because I have actually found a job I like, and me and Ian are getting on really well now and are all sorted and happy with each other....But maybe that's the problem....I think his mother is jealous.....Grrrrrrr just thinking about her and this whole situation makes my blood boil.....

And to top things of I had my appointment at the diabetic clinic on Friday and am now having to take yet more drugs as they think there is a problem with my kidneys...fucking fabulous...Oh and they think I'm anaemic aswell...Guess I gotta just wait for the blood test results to come back.

At least I had a good night on Friday as it was Ian's birthday. I think Ian prolly had the worst hangover ever - But then it's his own fault really...I think it must have been nearly 8am Saturday morning by time we finally crashed. I got a bit annoyed that people kepy hassling me about not drinking very much...But I just can't do it anymore...It just makes me sick or makes me really sleepy. I'd rather have 2 or 3 drinks and enjoy myself, rather than be ill or asleep.

What does a person have to do to have an easy life?!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 18:57:01 GMT

So this may not seem or sound like much but I am actually happy...
Something feels like it has clicked and a lot of my issues don't seem to feel as big, or even there anymore. I don't know why or how it's happened but I'm kinda enjoying feeling this way for a change.....It's been a long time coming.

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:39:48 GMT

Just come out of hospital....Went in on Thursday as I couldn't vreathe properly and was having major problems with my blood sugar levels. I have a rather nasty infection in one of the ulcers on my ankle which was causing all kinds of problems...so I'm on uber high dose antibiotics for the next two weeksm which really sucks.

As usual my veins in my arms are completely rubbish so they had a nightmare trying to get a line into my veins...This they decided after trying in about a million different places with me getting very vocal about how much it was hurting, and asking them not so politely to get the needle out. Normally the next port of call would be your feet - But due to a rather nasty ulcer on each foot it made them pretty much a no go area..So lucky me ended up with the cannula being put in the vein on the right hand side of my neck! I was not a happy bnny when the suggested it...but it wasn't actually that bad...and probably one of the more comfortable places I have had it!

Anyway I am feeling much better, glad to be out....And feel a million times better now for spending an age standing under a boiling hot shower! Now I think I'm going to go snuggle up under my duvet...I have to go out tomorrow to finish the bollocking christmas shopping...

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 19:06:57 GMT

Well I have a new job! I started yesterday. It's only temp at the moment, but I am kinda hoping it goes permanent. The money is pretty good for temp work down here (£8 an hour). I almost feel like a weight has been lifted now I am not working at tha call centre anymore.

Although the run up the christmas isn't the best timw of year to find work...It is also a bit of a blessing in disguise as there aren't many people looking for work. I had three offers of ongoing temp work last Thursday all within about an hour. I picked the one that paid most - Obviously - But it is also doing something I have kinda done in the past and it's kinda enjoyable as mcuh as working for a living can be.

I did feel bad phoning up the call centre on Friday and basically saying to them I'm not coming back. But then they should pay a realistic wage. We discovered on their website it says thay pay a competitive salary....Well I'd like to know what it is competitive against as they pay minimum wage!!

I am unfortunately having a bad week thhis week..And seem to be really down. I just want an end to some things that I can't do anything about. I want somewhere of our own to live. I just don't know how much longer I can live with Ian's Mum. It's really difficult to get 5 minutes peace as she seems to be one of these people that needs constant company. I just get the impression that as I don't want to sit with her all the time (Especially when Ian isn't here) she really takes offence. I know it this will sound horrible as she is being kind enough to put us up (But we are giving her housekeeping) but she can be one of these people that really grates on me and can make me feel all edgy and irritated by not actually doing anything.

I just need to start looking to the future I think. I need to realise that things won't be this shit forever. We will have our little house and our dog and be happy. It's just sometimes it feels like it os an awfully long way off

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 22:49:12 GMT

I was a naughty Jo and pulled a sickie from work today...I hate that place so much it's unbelievable. It's so soul destroyingly depressing. So I trundled off and registered with a couple of agencies. One of thenm had a really promising job, although it was temp to perm the money for down here was pretty good at £18k a year...Especially as the job is customer services. The other agency was just registering for temp work really...She said they get stuff in all the time. I hope they get a booking in so I can just pone up the place I am working now and tell them to stick it. It just makes me so sad to think that when I was 15 I was earning a fiver an hour doing silver service waitressing and now I'm 27 I'm earning £5.35 an hour!!!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 23:02:01 GMT

I really should try and update this thing more often...

I started working at the same place as Ian...And all I can say is I'm looking for another job. I can cope with call centre work - Christ knows I have done enough of it in my time. But the money is shit...And I mean *really* shit, as in minimum wage £5.35 an hour shit. The training was laughable aswell. Who the fuck needs two weeks of training to learn how to answer the phone?! About the only amusing thing is that one of the calls we answer the phone for is a website called Love Honey...So I get o talk to lots of embarressed people buyinh sex toys...Although one woman tonight ordered 200 condoms and a shed load of lube aswell....Guess she's in for a fun few days! Hahaha

I love being back here in Bristol...I just wish the wages were better. We're never going to be able to manage to save up enough to get a deposit and get a mortgage to buy somewhere...Or is it just me being snobby that I don't want to live in Hartcliffe or Knowle West?!

At least we have the night of tomorrow as Ian is Djing up in Gloucester at Dark Asylum. So that might be a giggle...

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 12:41:38 GMT

I seem to be falling apart at the moment. Finally got an appointment to see the Doc at the end of last week and am on antibiotics for the second time in a month. It seems that what appeared originally as harmless looking marks just on the front of each of my ankles have actually now turned into very unattractive looking ulcer type infections...Ahhhh the joys of being diabetic and it's complications. I am still suffering with horrendous fluid retention, but as my blood pressure is so low the stupid doctor won't give me any tablets. I feel like a beached whale at the moment.

At least I have a day off work today due to lack of sleep from being woken up at about 3am with the hypo from hell, as well as the fact that my feet and legs are so swollen it's uncomfotable to the point of being painful so I can't really drive and need to sit looking like an idiot with feet raised up.

Only a few more days until I move back to Bristol., which will be nice. Just need to try and keep Ian's Mum's dog away from me as I think I'm a bit allergic to him...Which is odd because I'm fine with my Dad's doggies. Maybe it's because his Mum's dog is a Westie and therefore a podgy ball of white fluff that molts everywhere....But Ian's Mum did say we could maybe get a kitty if we think the dog will be okay with it :D

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:36:25 GMT

On a countdown now to the move back to Bristol. At least I'm lucky in the fact that I have a job to go to...And the guy hasn't even interviewed me. It's at the same place that Ian is working and hopefully I will be a team leader straight away, with that or fast-tracked to become one. It'll be nice to move into supervisory stuff now - It's not as if I have no call centre/phone/custy services experience...My CV is full of it.

Apart from that I seem to be stuck in a low at the moment that nothing seems able to shift. I'm not entirely sure what to do about it to be honest. I thought I was getting over it all and getting better, but it keeps coming back and feels worse each time. I tried couselling, which to be honest didn't do much of anything for me, and don't fancy going back on the medication as the two different anti depressants I have been given so far really dodn't do a lot to help. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just not feel anything for a while...Rather than the buzzing in my head and the not being able to switch off; rather than the feeling of my insides being ripped apart.

All the health problems and a completely rubbish doctor that it is practically impossible to get an appointment with definitely isn't helping. I have something I need to see a different doctor about to get another opnion and I phone the surgery only to find out he's now on holiday for two weeks, with no one covering...So can only see crappy doctor (Who I am sure hasn;t got a fucking clue what he is talking about) and I can only get appointment with him if its an absolute emergency as he's uber over-booked....Gotta love the NHS...

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 07:46:31 GMT

It was nice to spend the weekend down in Bristol and to see Ian. Even now when I drive into Bristol, coming off the M32 into St Pauls, I get the feeling that I am home. It's really weird and hard to try and explain it, but I guess the city just feels 'right' for me.

It was ncie to see the boys again. I have always felt a little but like they're Ian's mates and I'm just there because I'm his wife. But after 6 months of being away and then us all going out to the pub together, I did kinda realise that these people are my friends as well as being Ian's friends, and I did feel kinda welcomed back into the fold, as it were.

The Hatchet was absolutely heaving with people of Saturday, but by the looks of it a lot was to do with the fact that Rocky is on at the Hippodrome (Am sooo pissed I'm not going to see it). Went to the bierkeller aswell...was okay, but I think I've grown out of the whole metal thing, well some of it at least. I want tunes I can dance to now and seem to be embracing the Industrial and ebm stuff more and more. Although we did dance to Poison by Alice Cooper which was a giggle...Not a tune you expect to hear :)

Hopefully I'll be moving back down by the end of the month, if not a bit before. I'm really looking forward to it.

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 13:01:45 GMT

It's sods law...I get put on antibiotics this week, just as I was planning a night out of drinking and dancing and general mischeif making in Bristol. Have been having problems with my poor feet and now turns out I have an nfected ingrowing toenail and weird pressure point marks on my ankles from all the fluid that seems to want to gather there on a regular basis (I miss my nice slim ankles! No high heels for me...Not that I could walk in them anyway!). So a week of uber strong tablets to get rid of it. Just means I can't really have a drink - antibiotics + booze + Jo = Very wobblely Jo.

I think I may have recaptured my muse and started writing again...Purely on the request of hubby, who is holed up 100+ miles away from me. If this goes to plan I may turn my hand to some fanfic of the POTC variety. I have a few ideas bouncing around kinda triggered by the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. I still keep meaning to actually read the Harry Potter books, I've seen the movies so many times and *adore* Rickman as Snape. The other character that is swirling around myhead at the moment is Rochester from the BBCs current version of Jane Eyre (Played by Toby Stephens, I think)...I'd glady let him sweep me of my feet and hide me away in some huge house in the middle of some windswept moor somewhere....How reality can be so different....I seem to be turning into a bit of a fangirl :D

Rochester:

At least I have a half day on Friday, so some shopping for some new clothes...I am desperately seeking the perfect black pencil skirt...And might treat myself to a gorgeous black pinstripe fedora I have had my eye on for a couple of weeks. It'll be nice to go back down to Bristol to see the boys, and to go out properly. Haven't been out dancing for so long now.

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 09:13:48 GMT

Nothing interesting to update - Life still being a bit poo :(

...But did anyone else notice that the new BBC Robin Hood programme is using 'Alice' by Sisters to advertise it?!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 13:24:51 GMT

Been ill again the past couple of days, which just about topped off my weekend.

I took Ian back down to Bristol at the weekend and the 100 mile, normally painless journey took us 6 hours! This is thanks to some accident or something closing the M4 for a whole junction meaning a god-awful diversion through the countryside in the middle of nowhere to rejoin the motorway at Swindon...Sitting in traffic for that long and spending at least 4 hours of that nopt being able to get out of first gear makes a very annoyed Jo...And to top it all of it took nearly 4 hours for me to drive back on Sunday due to roadworks and a shit load of traffic trying to leave Bristol after the marathon.

I'm looking around at jobs down on Bristol and to be honest there isn't a huge amount that appeals to me. Although I have found one admin type job for Bristol council that pays well for down that way and sounds quite interesting. Just trying to fill in the application form now, complete with the dreaded page that basically says, @Why should we give you the job?'... I hate those sorts of questions, I always really struggle to know what to write

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 16:16:36 GMT

After more long discussions with Ian (Got to love being able to use a dodgy broswer based version of MSN at work) we decided he will be moving back to Bristol, with me more than likely following. He called the place he was orking at before the move, and they have called him back this afternoon and offered him his job back starting on Monday! I wasn't expecting him to move back down so quickly.

Mum seems to think I need time on my own to think, and Ian going back to Bristol will help that. But I am still not quite sure what it is she wants me to think about. At the end of the day, I do need to do what will male me happy - But unfortunately at the moment I am not quite sure what that is. Hopefully I can find a job in Bristol that does not involve me working in a call centre like a battery hen..Although I know that that 118 247 (The evil Yellow Pages directory enquiries service) is always looking for staff...Not that I would ideally want to go back there, but if there's nothing else when I do move back down.

I guess I just need to decided when to move back to Bristol...I must admit that I do miss living there, it's a nice city. It would just be nice to have both of us earning a wage again so we can do stuff...Go out once in a while for a meal or away for the weekend, go blow money on shoes and clothes without having to worry too much about it, for me to get more inkage.

So I guess, it's Bristol here I come...Again...

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 10:02:28 GMT

Well the weekend away at Pontins in Camber Sands wansn't anywhere near as bad as I imagined it woulc be. The chalet we had was ubder basic (Not even a toaster!!) but at least it was clean.

Friday evening was spent watching a guy who's juggling was was worse than his jokes, and then a guy doing stand-up which was particularly unfunny.

Saturday we went actually spent most of the day doing absolutely nothing, which was nice. And in the evnng we enjoyed more of the rubbish cheesey entertainment and much vodka and beer was consumed. We ended up chatting to some peeps that were there from Dover, who turned out to be a tattoist and a piercer. Her work was really good, so when I have some moeny a trip down to see her for some ink may well be in order.

It was nice to just get away from everything for a bit. Yesterday evening my mother just turned and everything I did was wrong. It's getting to the point with her where I'm thinking I can't cope with living back at home with her. Both Ian and me are unhappy, in reality all of our friends are down in Bristol. We are considering moving back down that way. I just want a happy, stress-free life to be honest.

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 08:25:53 GMT

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 12:31:25 GMT

Managed to get a near free weekend away this weekend :) It'll be nice to actually get away for a bit. Unfortunately it's nowhere particularly exciting or exotic - Unless ofcourse Camber Sands does it for you.

My mum sent off those tokens that The Sun had for a cheap weekend break thing, and paid for it for my sister...But seeing as she ca't go now me and Ian get to! I'm a bit worried as it's stopping at Pontins down there and so far all the reviews of the place I ahve read on tripadvisor and such have been *really* bad. I guess that we'll take some vodka with us and go watch the tacky and probably realy bad caberat type shows they have.

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 12:10:24 GMT

Well I think I suitably wasted away the last bank holiday before christmas nicely. I sat and watched the Ollie Reed version of the Three Muskateers yesterday, that fil still manages to make me laugh everytime I watch it.

I finally gave in and changed my hair back to red from black..And I think I quite like it. Tis a nice mid burgandy-ish colour...And thankfully my hair feels in pretty good condition after the bleaching.

And I fainted yesterday - More than likely due to my blood pressure droping ridiculously low. Although that's the first time it's got that bad that i just kinda passed out into a heap on the floor. I normally get the dizziness, and blurrey/snowy vision etc...Was kinda scary. Ian was upstairs, but luckily he heard the bang when i collapsed...Gah! If it's not one thing going wrong with me it's something else - Like last Thursday spent at home throwing up all day!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 13:24:35 GMT

Well so much for me staying out of hospital...Ended up there last Thursday night, but thankfully was only an overnight job...But I got to meet up with the new diabetic nurse who is insane and I got a new gadget to test my blood sugars with that can also check bloods for ketones - Most defintely a good thing.

I ended up spending near 2 hours at the opticians on Saturday...Part of which is most likely due to the fact I just couldn't decide on which frames I wanted. My prescription has changed so much I need new glasses...And am near needing to have varifocals or bifocals as my near sight is rubbish Explains why I have to peer over the top of my glasses to read stuff up close). Also need to be referred to have my eyes looked at the the hospital as the blood vessels at the back of my eyes are bleeding...Not good (Ahhhh the joys of diabetic complications). Means I might have to have my eyes lasered to cauterise the blood vessels...So not to happy about the possibility of having laser beams shot into my eyes!

I found a fantastic website yesterday that has loads of mp3s of old kids programmes theme tunes...Cue Ian being subjected to the Trap Door theme tune and the Mysterious Cities of Gold theme amongst others! It rocks.. www.80scartoons.co.uk

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 09:12:33 GMT

I really am starting to think that I have one of the easiest jobs ever. I think yesterday I answered about 35, maybe 40 phonecalls and spent the rest fo the day buggering about online and sitting chatting about kids TV programmes from when we were younger :)

Unfortunatley this meant I had the Fraggle Rock theme tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day....I miss Fraggle Rock, and Button Moon and Dungeons and Dragons and the Moomins...I wanna be a kid again!

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 17:01:05 GMT

I answered as homestly as was possible and still got Jack...*Does little happy dance*

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. You are definitely quirky and often mistaken for mad but if anyone is truly paying attention they can see there is method to your madness. You try really hard to be bad but in the end you tend to do the right thing.

</td>

Captain Jack Sparrow

92%

Mary Read

67%

Captain James T. Hook

67%

Long John Silvers

58%

Sinbad

58%

Morgan Adams

50%

Dread Pirate Roberts

50%

Captain Barbosa

50%

Black Beard

42%

Will Turner

42%

What kind of Pirate are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 14:58:13 GMT

This hot weather is going to kill me, I swear...I just don't think I was built to cope with it. And now it turns out that they think it's going to get even hotter for August....This makes for a very irritable Jo.

Over the past couple of weeks I have found myself getting really addicted to Big Brother. I say every year that I am not going to watch it, and every year I get sucked in...I guess it's like a scab you can't stop picking at.

I'm getting the urge to start writing again, and that is most likely due to the amount of POTC fan fic/slash I have been reading of late. Am quite tempted to try my hand at it, although whether anyone will get to read it I don't know. There's just something about that pirate that I can't help but be drawn to and the new film just seems to have rekindled my obsession with the character.

I guess dipping into fantastical daydreams about fictional characters is just a way of dealing with the bordem of everydayness...Guess a little escapism never really harmed anyone

Bugger

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 08:37:13 GMT

Today is going to be a bad day...I can tell.

Got to work and as I got out of the car as normal, locked the car door etc, then looked down to see my new rock keyring glinting in the sunshine and my keys still hanging from the ignition! Now I managed to do tis a few months back aswell so my back window swings open (As the clip type thing that pulls it shut has been snapped). So cue me buggering about with a wire coat hanger to try and pull the lock up.

After 15 minutes I give up and go ask the security guy here at work if he can help. He seems a lovely guy (After all he helped me out this morning), but strikes me as the sort of person that was like an army seargent in a previous life. Anyways, he managed to get his arm through the back window and by some means of magic and contortion gets his hand on the lock and managed to pull the lock up.

That guy is my hero for today :)

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 07:59:01 GMT

Feelinga bit annoyed as we had a massive powercut last night - At the most annoying moment aswell as we were playing WoW and about to do a Sunken Temple run. But now it turns out that all the power surges and power cut have done something odd to our modem at home and after speaking to Ntl, they have said that the modem is dead so we have to wait until tomorrow for an engineer to come out and fix it.

Just as I was trying to download the EQ2 trial...Much as I love WoW I am getting abit bored with it. So thought I'd give something different a go, Ian used to play and has just reactivated his account.

Had a tooth out on Wednesday and am still suffering a bit because of it. I had to have two lots of injections to actually get my mouth to go numb. Hopefully I won't have to have any more out - 4 in a few months is more than enough. I used ro have really nice teeth but this calcium/vit D thing seems to have affected my teeth. Hopefully when they are all healed up properly and I have some money I might actually get them bleached.

And the weather is still far too hot!

And I still want my very own Jack :D

lilydiseased@yahoo.com — Thu, 13 Jul 2006 10:54:32 GMT

Nothing interesting happening whatsoever at the moment. Ian had a job interview for a pretty good job on Firday so we're just waiting to hear back on it. I really hope that he gets it as he's getting so disheartened by nor being able to find work down here. Although he did apply for a car park attendant job...I didn't realise the money was so good for a job like that - It's like up to £21k a year.

Found this online and though it was uber cute :) May I present me in animated and skinny form, complete with obligatory bottle of diet coke or some such in this hot weather